I’m Moving!

Hi all, just wanted to let you know that I am in the process of moving my blog to www.spaguyswife.com I know I haven’t posted in awhile but if you’re still checking in periodically or subscribed to the feed please change the link!

A Fond Farewell

We lost our kitty Misty this week to what we believe was a run in with one of the undomesticated critters in our area (that’s Rod’s story and he’s sticking to it). To our dear furry friend you will be greatly missed. Thank you for being a part of our lives for the past two years, for making us laugh as you gave in to your schizoid personality, leaping up walls, chasing lights, bugs or anything else that moved. You were shy, skittish and only cuddled on your terms but we loved you anyway. I’ll miss you most while I’m working in the garden, where you were always nearby, making sure I was doing the job right. May your new home be filled with many lights and a never ending supply of tuna.

 

MISTY
MAY 2005 to AUGUST 2007

Choices? I think so.

There are many things that occur in this day and age that sicken me. There are too many to mention and it is probably one of the main reasons that I choose not to watch the news on a regular basis. Day to day, we hear about senseless crimes that affect all walks of life. They annoy us, sadden us and then we carry on with our lives, only pausing to think about how these events rip lives apart and damage those directly involved.

None of us are immune to these crimes but I find these particularly disturbing

A vicious attack outside a SkyTrain station in East Vancouver early Tuesday morning left a 56-year-old Asian woman in hospital with serious head injuries.

After handing over $5 for five days straight, 79-year-old is shoved to the ground and robbed of his wallet.

Last week I received a phone call from my Mom. She is a cashier at a self serve gas station, loves her job and her customers. At 11:00 a.m. on Tuesday, the world as she knew it came to a grinding halt when a drug addicted loser thought it would be a good idea to rob her at knife point. Fortunately, she was not “hurt”, the thief took his loot (cash, lottery tickets and smokes) and then hopped in a car that his equally pathetic girlfriend was driving.

We tend to assess the severity of these situations based on whether or not the victims are physically hurt but do we ever consider the long term effects of what these assaults do to the poor victims that are just going about their daily business? Physically my Mom is “fine”. Emotionally she’s a wreck. She is in the process of quitting her job because she is terrified to go back. She is the one who must endure police interviews, sleepless nights and try and build her life back. She is 60; for her it will not be an easy task, but she is strong and will prevail.

I’m finding it harder and harder to be sympathetic to society’s less fortunate individuals who happen to fall into the life of addiction or find themselves living on the streets without a roof over their head. I have supported many of these people by donating cash, buying coffee and meals and I don’t want to group them all into one category for I believe that there are those that are trying to find their way. I am, however, tired of the homeless people & drugged up kids in my community that think it’s okay to steal and harass the rest of us in order for them to meet their needs. Bottom line, I am sick of no one taking accountability for their actions. Drugs are to blame, government is to blame, my childhood was bad, etc. There are a million different reasons but at the end of the day it is about choices. If you want to drag yourself to hell and back go ahead, but leave the rest of us alone.

It Was Nice While It Lasted

It’s official, “Payment for Peace” has run its course and life, as we know it, has returned to normal. Bickering, poking and any reason to assume battle positions has resumed. Am I considering another negotiation? It has crossed my mind but for now I think I will just stare longingly at my new count down timer, anticipating the return to school and peace, without payment.

Payment for Peace

Concentrate on the picture at the top of my blog. Put yourself in this happy place, feel the tranquility of no cars, no electricity, sounds of lapping water on the beach and the buzz of hummingbirds nearby. Cut to the reality of same place but brother and sister fighting for the umpteenth time over God knows what and Mom (yes, me) completely losing it.

I have been with my children for forty six days straight and though we know the love is still there and strong we’re just not feeling it very much these days. I did not book any summer day camps this year, Dad has been working really long hours and bar a few play dates it has been the three of us 24/7.

I couldn’t stomach a weekend at our beautiful retreat coupled with constant bickering over trivial things so I proposed a challenge to my two charming children. If they could get through three days without fighting I would pay them $10 each. I know it was a bribe, I was desperate and I am not proud of it. We are not big believers of cash rewards as incentives and still struggle with the whole allowance scenario.

Our daughter just had a birthday and has quite the stash of cash. Her comment “Brody, it’s only 10 bucks!” She has also admitted in passing that her favourite thing in the whole world is to fight with her brother. My son on the other hand was an easier sell. He is broke and really wanted to purchase a new video game. They negotiated, agreed and then we all pinkie swore that the challenge was on.

The kids swam together, played together and supported one another. At one point a disagreement started but they shut it down quickly! Bribery tactics or not, three days later we were a happy, intact and calm family. The cash was gladly paid out and a video game and Webkins has been purchased with the “winnings”.

This little challenge wasn’t my best parenting move and will probably haunt me down the road. For the most part though, a week later, they are still getting along and right or wrong this has been the best $20 I have EVER spent.

Blog Post Release Me, Let Me Go…

When I took the picture of “The Cookie Stand” I was so excited about the concept that I couldn’t wait to get home and write about it. It was forefront in my mind for days and finally I found some time write. My first attempt was too long and the words wouldn’t flow. The next day I tried again. No matter what I wrote I wasn’t happy with it. It began to consume me. A week passed, and then two; it was constantly on my mind.

I finally sat down and posted what I had, hoping I could put some form of closure on this particular post. The bottom line, I hate it. Even my husband commented that he expected more from it knowing how excited I was about the Cookie Stand.

Needless to say the damn thing is still haunting me. My question to you is do you ever go back and “tweak” posts that you were not satisfied with, leave them as is or delete altogether? For those of you who read blogs, would you bother to re read something that had already been posted?

I probably just need to “let it go” but the anal side of my personality won’t let me. Tell me, oh experienced ones, what would you do?  This inquiring mind needs to know.

The Cookie Stand

It’s a amazing how one,  simple concept can restore your faith in mankind, even if it’s just for a moment. On our recent trip to Lasqueti Island we came across this roadside stand.

On the table was some of the most beautiful produce I’ve seen in a while; zucchini, huge plump raspberries, fresh basil that had the most wonderful smell, geraniums, a huge bouquet of flowers and home made baked goods. Also on the table was a locked money box. At that point I realized that there was no salesperson, big dog growling or security cameras to ensure that you paid for your goods. Someone was actually running a business based on the HONOUR system.

I’m not naive enough to think that theft never takes place, but for me, the Cookie Stand warmed my heart and gave me great hope.

Our New Neighbours

For the past couple of weeks the dog has been running along the fence, ripping up my garden (o.k. weeds) and barking up a storm. I figured it was just his state of mind starting to go as I haven’t been as diligent walking him as I should.This afternoon he started up again and low and behold look what we found in the neighbours cherry tree. Looks like this family of four (maybe five) have moved in. As cute as they are, they are not what I want to see when I have kids and pets nearby.

Dudes, it’s daytime! Go to bed!!

At least I have the peace of mind knowing that my dog isn’t talking to a worm or a figment of his imagination. He is doing his ever loyal duty and keeping us informed of new goings on.  I wonder if my neighbour knows he has new tenants…

Steve the Story Guy

A few weeks back we attended a party at a friends place and happened to meet Steve. Turns out that Steve had recently won a local radio station contest for his entry to the $20,000 Rock 101 Gong Show. His “story” incorporates over 100 Rock Bands. I love creative & clever people and I believe Steve’s entry was a well deserved win!

What Were We Thinking?

We’re really open with our kids. We’ve always tried to tell them that they can come to us for anything, talk to us about anything and we will do everything we can to get them the right information. As they get older, the thought of what lies ahead scares the hell out of me.

I had the opportunity to attend a seminar with a sexual health educator this week who was amazing and I am quite proud of the fact that, for the most part, we have done a good job educating our kids. I’m sure my pride will be quickly shot down once the kids attend their session and some embarrassing fact will be brought to the forefront about what Mom and Dad said or, God forbid, did! Though I knew it already, the realization really hit home tonight about how much our kids need to know and how little most of them do know. If you’re in the least bit shy talking to your kids about sexual health I strongly recommend attending a similar seminar or checkout some great resources that are available. Studies show that children who are educated about their bodies are less likely to be preyed upon by predators and tend to abstain from sexual activities until much later.

I also received an email from a friend which came directly from a local police station. I know drugs are everywhere, in different appealing shapes and forms but this, targeted at children, sparks a whole new level of fear.

This thing called parenthood, didn’t come with an instruction manual and there are many days I wonder “What Were We Thinking?” There are so many unknowns, challenges and obstacles they will have to face, more today, I believe, than when we were kids. I guess the biggest thing we need to do is love, listen, take lots of deep breaths and try to give our children the necessary tools to get through each day. I just hope and pray we do it right.